Tag Archives: Divorce

All Alone: Misconceptions about DIY Divorce

Divorce cracked paperWhile it is possible to handle your own divorce, this does not mean that it is the best approach for everyone. Even if you believe that your case is not complicated and you understand the process, there are always plenty of things you need to know that hours of research and reading divorce guides cannot replace.

Divorce attorneys in Colorado Springs share their views about some misconceptions some people have about handling marriage dissolution all on your own:

DIY divorce is the only way to save money

Sometimes, a do-it-yourself divorce (if done successfully without pitfalls) can help keep your expenses low. This is not the only way to save money, however. If you and your spouse can communicate without arguing and are willing to reach an agreement, mediation or collaborative divorce can be a good option. This skips the courtroom hearing and helps both parties save time and money. Such a situation is rare, unfortunately.

DIY divorce is less stressful and heartbreaking for the family

Ending a marriage is painful and heartbreaking for everyone involved. This is especially true for the children. A DIY divorce can actually be even more stressful, as you have to navigate the process on your own. Hiring the right legal representation can minimize stress and frustration, with an expert to guide your every decision.

Filing the paperwork is simple and easy

While you may see or read websites that offer DIY forms, as well as help on how to fill out such forms, there is always the risk of not completing them right or not getting the proper form for your state. There may also be some aspects of the paperwork that you may not understand. A family lawyer or a divorce attorney can help you navigate everything easier and keep you informed about the divorce laws in your state.

DIY divorce is not the best option for every case. It is always better to hire an attorney to make sure that you’re navigating the process the right way.

Could I Get an Uncontested Divorce in New York?

Divorce LawyerPut simply, an uncontested divorce is a type of divorce wherein both parties are in total agreement of all divorce issues regarding the dissolution of their marriage. This means that both wife and husband have meticulously discussed and understood their issues, and have established their terms.

Uncontested Divorce Under New York Divorce Law

Essentially, both parties want the divorce to happen and completely agree on divorce issues that concern the grounds for divorce, child custody and support, visitation time, spousal support or alimony, and equitable property distribution. In the event the parties genuinely agree on these key issues prior to filing for divorce, they don’t have to make appearances in court and their divorce will be considered uncontested right from the start.

In general, the divorcing spouses already have limited, but friendly ties to one another and their relationship could be easily dissolved, explains a divorce attorney in Long Island. Law Offices of Ian S. Mednick may agree that most uncontested divorces are uncontested because the divorcing couple does not have children, substantial property and assets, joint bank accounts, as well as claims for spousal maintenance, professional or advanced degrees, attorney fees, and life or health insurance.

Once a couple jointly decides to get an uncontested divorce, they should start the divorce process by filing. In the event that all documentation has been filed and the judge don’t order them to appear in court, they could obtain their divorce judgment between four and 12 weeks, depending on the county where they filed, from the date of filing the note of issues, signed affidavits, and pleadings.

Could an Uncontested Divorce Suddenly become Contested?

Unfortunately, yes, it could. If for some reason one of the spouses changed her or his mind after being served the divorce paperwork, she or he could elect to contest the divorce. Typically, one of the spouses will suddenly realize that she or he doesn’t really agree with particular grounds for the divorce and the divorce issues that the couple supposedly agreed upon. Take note that her or his reason won’t really matter in court, meaning that if she or he wants to contest the divorce, the other spouse won’t have a choice in the matter. That said, the couple should then get their own divorce lawyers to help them with the litigation that will follow.

Do These Little Things to Pick Yourself Up After a Divorce

Divorce in ColoradoThe rate of people getting a divorce in Colorado Springs has decreased. Divorce is a depressing occasion, but this news is not the cause for a celebration yet. Experts believe that the drop in divorces is due to the educational level of its residents.

According to a report by the Colorado Public Radio (CPR), there are more educated people living in Colorado Springs than its nearby cities. This improves the quality of employment rate in the city. While couples feel secured with their jobs, they feel the same way towards their spouses.

Law Office of Gordon N. Shayne and other legal professionals noted, however, that this does not dismiss the fact that divorce is still a depressing affair between married couples. Many divorced individuals have survived theirs, so you should, too.

Here is some advice on how you can have a fulfilling life even after divorce:

Allow Yourself to Grieve for the Loss

According to psychotherapist Dr. Florence Falk, you should learn how to mourn for everything that you’ve lost in your life. That includes losing a spouse, even through an undesirable event like a divorce. It can help you let go of the marriage that you once thought would never end.

Rediscover the Old You and Discover the New You

With more time for yourself, look back at the old you. At the same time, discover who you want to be as an improved person. Don’t let divorce destroy you.

Focus on Yourself

Maybe you’ve been married for a long time, or only for a few years. It doesn’t matter. All those years, you were constantly thinking about the welfare of another person. It’s time to think more about yourself. Get that piece of clothing you always wanted. Go to that place where you always wanted to go. Do that thing that you’ve always hoped to do.

Nobody gets married and wishes to get divorced someday. Knowing how to survive it, however, can help reinvent yourself. If you’re still married and you think you’re not happy anymore, get a divorce lawyer who can help you through the process.

The Dangers of Not Making Divorce Official

Making Divorce OfficialYou’ve probably heard of someone who’s been separated for years from their spouse, yet neither party has bothered to make the divorce official. While it can seem normal, it can end up with costly consequences such as losing a significant portion of assets built up over the years or one party may end up paying maintenance.

Without a formal legal agreement that sets the terms for your separation, you may be in a disaster before you even know it. Legal professionals, such as Divorce Matters, explain why you should be worried about a long-term separation. 

You have no control over how your spouse manages marital assets

If you’ve lived separately for some years, you may not know what your spouse is selling, buying, investing or earning. Suppose your spouse gets into debt, you’ll also get into debt especially if he/she using joint credit cards.

Your spouse may use this chance to hide assets from you

While you may see no urgency in filing for a divorce, your spouse could take advantage of this to make certain assets unavailable. When you finally discover what they’ve been up to when you decide to divorce, you’ll be in for a rude shock.

Alimony laws could change

Alimony laws change from time to time. The more you delay, the higher the likelihood of laws changing in your state.

Your spouse could move to another state 

Most states have severe limitations on the amount and the duration of alimony the judge can award. During your separation, your spouse can move to another state with these set limitations. This could make the divorce
process more complicated.

Despite having been separated for years from your spouse, the law still sees this as a marriage. If your career blossoms while your spouse struggles to make ends meet, the court has the right to award assets and support in spite of the long-term separation. If you would like to file for divorce, it’s important to consult a divorce attorney who will guide you through the steps you need to take.

Divorce Mediation: Should You Do It?

Divorce Mediation

Divorce MediationDivorce mediation is an excellent alternative to the exhaustive litigation process for couples willing to amicably resolve their issues and come to terms with their disputes. With divorce mediation, a mediator, which is a neutral third party, will aid in keeping the discussion focused on solving problems instead of placing blame. However, not anyone can successfully pull off or should consider divorce mediation. Take a look at the pros and cons below to find out why.

Divorce Mediation: The Pros

First off, divorce mediation is fair to everyone involved since the mediator will not stand to gain anything from the mediation outcome. The mediator will always remain objective and this will help in seeking solutions. With this, the couple is in complete control of the situation and not under the mercy of a judge.

Divorce mediation in Long Island will also save you money and time since you forego the litigation process and the expenses come with it. The process may take two to six months, but it still depends on the complexity of the couples’ issues. Additionally, the whole process will be confidential. No one but the mediator, and both parties’ lawyers, will take down notes and these will be disposed after a successful resolution.

Divorce Mediation: The Cons

Know that divorce mediation is not considered a legal proceeding so there’s no pre-trial discovery. This means that both parties must conduct a thorough research on each other to prove the existence of assets or income that one may have hidden from the other.

Also, if one party is going through mediation “pro se” or without a lawyer, the other party can easily be taken advantage of. In addition, if there’s a history of domestic abuse or cheating, these won’t be factored during the mediation process.

The Bottom Line

Remember that the focus of divorce mediation is to move forward, and not dredge up the past and play the blame game. If you and your spouse are able to do this, you’ll save yourselves the money, time, stress, anger, grief and trauma common in litigation. However, in case you’ve tried mediation and it didn’t work for you, you have all the right to take the case to court.

Your Children’s Mindset During Divorce


DivorceWhile your divorce is a matter to be dealt with between you and your spouse, it cannot be helped for your children to get into the mix.

As parents, your instinct may be to keep them out of the complicated situation. Either way, finding the middle ground for the best solution is not easy to get to. The first thing you have to keep in mind is that your children are not oblivious to the fact that you and your spouse are probably about to separate.

This, however, does not mean that they can handle whatever your divorce will mean for them. Expect your kids to feel shocked, sad, frustrated, angry and worried — either in succession or all at the same time.

As hard as it may be for your children, you cannot just decide to “stay together for the kids.” But knowing about their needs and what they may be thinking in the duration and process of your divorce may ease the burden they are feeling.

Who will I be living with?

In other words, custody. This decision is the most difficult to make, because one, you will surely want to gain it over the other. Two, your relationship with your ex may not allow the ideal living situation. In this case, it is ideal to seek the help of family lawyers, to get the best arrangement for your children.

As a child, it is only normal for them to think of this.  Their original concept of home and family will be tested during the divorce. While the 21st century has ushered in a modern look at the family, it is your responsibility to let your children know what is about to happen. With the help of your lawyer, you can ease this process and make it so that they will understand that you and your spouse will still make it a point to spend time with them.

Is it my fault?

Do not blame your kids for thinking like this. When they hear that you and your spouse are arguing about custody, then they are prone to thinking that it is their fault.

This is where communication is vital. Let your children know why you are getting a divorce. Tell them as bluntly, unbiased and as simply as you can. This lets them understand the situation and reduces the risk of holding grudges and building up feelings of anger.

What do I do?

This difficult time will be confusing for your child. Guide them through it and let them know that you love them and that they have absolutely nothing to worry about.

Clear misunderstandings; be patient and reassuring. This is the time your child needs to feel loved, do so by being supportive and not breeding hate towards your ex — this will only confuse them and make them think they have to take sides.

A divorce is already difficult to go through as a couple; with your children, it can be complicated. Thinking of where they are in the whole thing and the thoughts that might be going through their heads will help you when dealing with them.