Broken Promises: The Ex, the Kids, and the Right Way to Deal
Divorce is a tough situation for everyone – especially the kids. The idea that Mom and Dad will no longer live together is hard to accept.
Fortunately, co-parenting makes the ordeal easier. The children need not worry about not seeing both parents; through an efficient co-parenting plan, they can still see Mom or Dad during set periods (depending on who is the non-custodial parent).
The set-up is easier on everyone.
But what if the other party makes promises they can’t keep?
Anatomy of Broken Promises
For Buhlerlawoffice.com, a family law practice, broken promises are regular scenarios in most co-parenting cases. Regular yet unfortunate. The non-custodial parent, to cope with the separation from their children, would make grandiose promises to the kids.
Unfortunately, most parents end up breaking their promises – the supposed trip to the beach never happens, the non-custodial parent fails to attend the graduation ceremony, and so on. It might seem like a small concern, one you can easily make up for.
On the contrary, it’s a bigger issue.
Why Promises Matter
Your ex is not the kids’ only parent. Half of the time, they expect their parents to fulfill their promises. Whether it’s a trip or a material object, they know their parents will keep it. Should they fail to deliver, they at least offer an explanation.
When your ex fails to do either, it will confuse the children. Could they still depend on their non-custodial parent? Does Mom or Dad still love them? If so, why do they keep breaking their promise?
During such scenarios, it’s the custodial parent’s responsibility to validate the children’s feelings. Still, they should do so without disparaging the non-custodial ex.
The Right Way to Deal
Start by setting a good example. If your ex fails to keep promises, always keep yours. This shows them that at least one of their parents always pulls through. When you can’t, do not hesitate to tell them. Children appreciate honesty.
Also, talk to your ex about it. Explain the children’s side and (calmly) ask them to keep their promises. After all, you both want the best for the kids.
The ex might’ve broken their promise to stay with you till death do you part, but when it comes to the kids, keeping a promise matters – crucially.